15 April, 2012

Confidence

Just a short bit of rambling today as I’m about to watch 9 (free Netflix for a month – watch all the movies!).  My Disjointed Rhymings business cards arrived on Friday which was quite exciting.  Even more exciting was getting back in touch with an old school friend after seven years (which may not seem all that long, but is almost a third of my life…which I only just worked out and is a rather scary thought).

 

Today’s poem seems to be particularly effective with 100% of those* who had read it before posting finding that it helped them with their confidence when faced with having to speak in public.  Enjoy!

 

Confidence
Confidence is an illusion,
Drawn about like a cloak.
Hiding insecurities,
In its enveloping smoke.
 
When anxieties threaten,
Pull yourself up tall.
So no one can see,
Your nervousness at all.
 
Even those brave souls,
Who seem to need no disguise.
May still be fooling,
The outsiders’ eyes.
22/11/2011

 

 

 

 

*2 out of 2 people

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8 April, 2012

The Practical Escalaphobe

So the other night I had the great joy of seeing Dave Gorman and Jay Foreman performing live in Newbury, and also meeting both gentlemen after their respective acts.  They were absolutely lovely, although I wound up slightly embarrassed as it turns out I have an enthusiastic ’pick me, pick me’ (apparently) whoop.  Or at least that’s what was said when I gave my little cheer following the request for those with an irrational fear to give a cheer, and I had to then say what mine was, in front of around 150 people, being completely on my own (Thursday night is poker night for a lot of my friends, so they were there instead).

This got me thinking on an idea I’d had some time ago to write a poem about my very silly and completely irrational fear – escalaphobia.  No I didn’t make that up, it is a real word for a real phobia, and it involves escalators.  For those of you who aren’t familiar with the British term, I’m talking about those staircases which move.  Now I’m pretty lucky as I only have a problem with the down side, up is no problem to me at all.  Unfortunately I have panic attacks when I do use them and pretty much stop breathing or being able to see.  You can imagine how ‘interesting’ trips around London are using the Underground.  But I don’t let it stop me, oh no…

The Practical Escalaphobe
I’m a practical escalaphobe,
Don’t let my terror stop me.
The panic and the fight for breath,
The inability to see.
 
I’m a practical escalaphobe,
I know my fear seems strange.
Up is fine but down is bad,
A fact I’ve tried to change.
 
I’m a practical escalaphobe,
And I haven’t passed out yet.
But my friends still get concerned,
Ready to catch me they always get.
 
I’m a practical escalaphobe,
Although I sometimes try too hard.
Like attempting the longest in Europe,
My nails, the handrail scared. 
 
I’m a practical escalaphobe,
And keep trying to use them I will.
Whether I must ride them down,
Or use them as stairs when they’re still.
16/02/2012 + 08/04/2012

If anyone is interested, I found this blog post on the subject Elevator World and a website on the subject Fear of Stuff – Escalators.

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4 April, 2012

One of Those Days

I actually wrote (and promptly lost) this one a couple of months ago, but it almost fitted yesterday too with my essentially wasted evening.  The short (Twitter) version is that for the past month since falling off my bike, my foot has done a rather good impression of being broken.  So I was persuaded to go to A&E to get it checked out, and after four hours, found out that it isn’t even cracked and they’ve no idea why it’s doing that.  Ah well.

 

All of the events in this piece are true, and happened on the day in question…enjoy!

 

One of Those Days
It’s just one of those days,
That swings from extreme to extreme.
From tragedy to triumph,
No pausing in between.
 
The weather isn’t helping much,
It’s having one of those days too.
From autumnal sun and clear blue skies,
To gales and rain that soaked me through.
 
Computers driving me up the wall,
The network’s scrambled, my hard disc fried.
On the plus side I’m being published,
A thought that makes me happy inside.
13/12/2011

P.S.  I checked, it was a Tuesday, not a Friday ;)

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1 April, 2012

Spring is Almost Here

No, it’s not an April Fool, for one thing it’s far too late in the day for such things.  I’m actually doing a post!  I wanted to post this one a few weeks ago, but I couldn’t find it, even though I knew I’d seen it a couple of days before then.  Spring cleaning today relocated it (and relocated an awful lot of my stuff, a considerable amount to the bin).  For the past year there have been two big boxes between my bed and my bookcases, these have now gone, and the bookcases seem awfully far away now.

 

In other news, the proof for my part of ‘Ten of the Best’ finally arrived last Saturday and having corrected it, I sent it back last Thursday.  Things are moving, but it will still be a while before I’m sat here with the book in my hands.  If anyone wants a copy and hasn’t already asked, I do have a couple more available.

 

So this one is a little out of season, especially with the mini-Summer we’ve just had in the UK.  When am I ever seasonal?  Enjoy!

 

Spring is Almost Here
Snowdrops and celandine,
Nodding in the breeze.
On the banks of the stream,
Beneath budding trees.
 
The wind is bitter cold,
And the sky is grey as lead.
I wish that like the songbirds,
I had southward fled.
 
Then the sun breaks though the gloom,
To fill our hearts with cheer.
For these flowers don’t you know,
Mean spring is almost here!
09/02/2010

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4 March, 2012

I Told You So!

I have literally just gotten home from a cold, wet, windy but brilliant day out watching the opening of the EMRA 2012 season.  Why did I endure the freezing late winter conditions to watch some maniacs whizzing around on motorbikes for most of the day?  Because a long time and very good friend of mine was also starting his first proper season there.  Pretty sure he had the biggest entourage of the day, especially amongst the non-professionals, with ten of us hanging round the ‘garage’ (awning) all day.  The conditions were appalling, but that wasn’t too bad as he’s pretty good in the wet.  Unfortunately they improved for his last race and the track started to dry out.  But a 7th and a 4th in his two class races, plus an 8th in the Novice race isn’t too bad going, and a lot better than what he thought he’d get.  I did tell him so!

 

I Told You So!
I told you so,
That you’d do well.
Now enjoy your results,
And upon your success dwell.
 
I told you so,
You’d not be last.
You have the skill,
And you’ve always been fast.
 
I told you so,
You’d get round okay.
Though sometimes we worried,
Like when you didn’t return right away!
04/03/2012

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26 February, 2012

The Importance of My Hat

I pretty much always wear a hat, unless the occasion demands that I don’t, but even then I shall probably have worn one there, and be wearing it back home again.  Wearing a hat has become so much a part of who people perceive me to be, that people find it hard to spot and/or recognise me without one.  To me, wearing a hat isn’t just about image or style, it’s a very practical matter too.  So here goes.

 

The Importance of My Hat

 

My hat is my identity,
My hat is my disguise.
When I take it off,
I’m hidden from your eyes.
 
My hat is my confidence,
My hat is my protection.
It shelters me from wind and rain,
And avian defecation.
 
My hat is very precious,
My hat is ordinary.
And I’ve one for every occasion,
From trilby through to beret.
24/02/2012

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22 February, 2012

Everything is Beautiful

So the other day I was receiving a bit of stick from a friend because I was describing everything as beautiful.  Somehow I couldn’t come up with a better word to describe Jacob’s sheep (think I actually said they were beautiful AND funky), this really lovely tiny little bowl and spoon for the mustard and something else.  I didn’t get to call the third thing beautiful as my friend stepped in and said it for me as I was going to.  This naturally led to some comment about ‘everything being beautiful’, and you know what happens when I get a random phrase stuck in my head…enjoy!

 

Everything is Beautiful
Everything is beautiful,
Each in its own way.
And things of beauty can’t help but,
Brighten up your day.
 
Everything is beautiful,
For those with eyes to see.
Just take the time to look and find,
The beauty in the ‘ugly’.
 
Everything is beautiful,
From the greatest to the small.
So set yourself up for a smile,
And seek the beauty in all.
21/02/2012

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